We’re back! Hit n Run made its first, but hopefully not its last, foray out to Los Angeles to participate in the Los Angeles Improv Festival. It was a three-day, two night whirlwind of action, adventure and traffic on the West Coast. Along the way, we drove from one end of L.A. to the other, ate our body weight in sushi, saw lots of old friends, got a thumbs up from Andy Dick, partied on a rooftop in downtown L.A., dropped in on Second City, nearly got hit by a motorcycle or two and, of course, got to experience the notorious L.A. traffic firsthand.
We left Denver International Airport on Tuesday morning, June 8th, at around 8am. Only four of the seven cast members were able to make the trip; Steven, Meredith, Natasha and myself (Chris). The flight was largely uneventful, although, on a personal note, I’m not a good flyer and the turbulence was disturbing, particularly as we got closer to LAX. One little girl in the seat behind me was apparently nervous and kept singing the same verse from Annie’s “The Sun’ll Come Out Tomorrow” over and over and over for the last hour of the flight. It wouldn’t have been so bad except she never got to the chorus. That and the fact that as we were coming in for a landing, we got a bad crosswind and the wing dipped, and the pilot just dropped the plane. Hard enough that we actually bounced. I was very glad to get back on Terra Firma, let me tell you.
Once we were safely on the ground and the rental car retrieved, we were on our way towards adventure. Natasha talked us into going to see her old college in Claremont, outside of L.A. To be honest, it was really more of a trip to “The Sushi Cruise,” which is a sushi restaurant set inside a building that looks like a boat. The best part of “The Cruise” is that it’s an all you can eat sushi joint for basically $20 bucks. I was in heaven. Steven had never eaten sushi before and Mere wasn’t overly experienced in the fish fare. We seriously ate probably $300 worth of sushi for a total of about $90 bucks. I was so full I could barely move afterwards.
Fortunately, we ended up walking around the Pomona College campus for about an hour, visiting her old theater and an old professor. I have to admit that the college has a REALLY nice theater. We ended up taking some “avante guard” photos in their black box space. Pretty funny stuff.
After our wandering we made our way to our hosts house for the evening in Pasadena, got settled, took a quick rest and we were back out the door to Hollywood Boulevard to see the theater and catch a show. Along the way, Meredith came up with a great idea. Actually, she had the idea at the Sushi Cruise; since each of us had something we wanted to do while in Hollywood, she proposed that each time we did something in our “to do” category, we would have our picture taken in front of whatever it was we were doing. For instance, Natasha had her pic taken in front of the sushi Cruise, and at the college. Mere wanted to hit an In n Out Burgers, Steven, well, we weren’t sure what his “to do” was.
For me, well, I wanted to visit the L.A. subway. I knew they had one and I wanted to visit the site of the “Most Expensive Subway In The World” while in town. We found a parking spot and started making our way down Hollywood Boulevard towards IO West. But before we hit the theater, I insisted we make a side trip to the subway, which was only a few blocks away. The subway is really nice, actually. Clean and quiet and feels pretty safe. It wasn’t crowded at all, really. You can see pics of the subway on our facebook page, HitnRunImprov on Facebook. They have some really cool huge film reels just above the subway platform. There are about four levels before you actually get to the subway, and we didn’t go all the way down to the tracks because that costs money, but it was pretty cool nonetheless.
Then it was off to theater where we’d be performing on Wednesday night. We were scheduled to play at the Andy Dick Theater at IO West, also called “The Dick Box.” Steven had performed there before, so he knew the theater owner and several of the other performers that were playing that night. We had a chance to check out the theater and get our performer passes and wander around for a bit. We were going to see Dave Razowsky and Moe Collins and some other famous folks play. We started calling the group, “Blah blah blah Razowsky.” We were going to see them on the mainstage along with a fellow friend, Michelle Miracle. Unfortunately, I had forgotten my license in my jacket at the house. I had taken it out when we went through security at DIA and I just never put it back into my wallet.
This led to an awkward exchange at the front door of IO West where a friendly neighborhood Hollywood police officer was checking ID’s. Listen, I don’t look anything like a rollicking teenager. I have crows feet and gray hair and a beerbelly. You couldn’t mistake me for someone under 21 if you were brain dead and blind, which, come to think of it, is nearly impossible to be. The point is, I couldn’t get in to see “Blah blah blah Razowsky” so I had to find alternate plans.
Fortunately for me, the green room at IO West for all the performers offered free drinks and snacky snacks. The lovely bartendress was pouring some kind of sweet nectar concoction that went down way too easily. PLUS, in the Loft Theater upstairs, the festival was holding their Sketch Show Competition. This is crazy, because the winner of the competition gets, like a million dollars, a movie deal and Hammer’s L.A. mansion in the Hollywood Hills. Okay, so that’s not true. But they DO get some cash and a meeting with an agent and writers from Saturday Night Live, which is in actuality WAAAYYY cooler than Hammer’s old mansion.
The first group I saw was out of Chicago and they did a kind of hybrid improv and written sketch. It was really cool to watch because they would get a suggestion, start riffing off the suggestion and then eventually lead themselves into the written portion of the sketch. It was very smart and very funny. I had gotten into the Loft right after the group started, so I stood up to watch that show, but while the groups switched, I made my way to a big, comfy chair to watch the second group perform. They were much more like a traditional sketch group, with opening scenes and little plots and characters and the like. They did a great zombie sketch, opened with a wonderful elevator scene and had some very funny stuff. I never did find out who moved on to the next round or who won, but if I had to choose between the two I saw, I would have gone with the second group as they seemed tighter and a bit funnier.
Natasha, Michelle (our friend from Denver who now lives and performs in L.A.), Mere and Steve made their way up to the Loft after the “Blah blah blah Razowsky” show was done. After the second sketch show we moved downstairs to the green room and a few more drinks and mingling. At one point, I was sitting in a chair, surrounded by performers from all over the country, drinking a cocktail and feeling very relaxed. It was like having an out of body experience. I chatted with a sketch performer from L.A. and found out he’d been in a movie as an extra. Apparently EVERYONE out there has been in a movie of some sort. I’ll have more on that in the second half of our L.A. Story.
A few thoughts: L.A. is a big town. It’s all spread out and riddled with secret hiding places and hidden gems and crappy neighborhoods interspersed with cool neighborhoods. But Hollywood, well, it seems small. Everyone seems to know everyone. I get that in Denver. I know a lot of people here. I grew up here. I was a journalist here for 15 years and I work in PR here. I do shows here. In short, I know a buttload of people in Denver. But in L.A., it’s not much different. Everyone knows everyone. Our friend Michelle does stand up and is doing some improv out there, and she knew half the folks in the green room at IO West. Plus, they knew her and they were happy to see her.
There’s a difference, you know. Not everyone I know in Denver is always happy to see me. But they were genuinely happy to see Michelle and Steve. We hung out in the green room, had a few more drinks while we figured out what our next move would be. By this time, we were tired, we’d all been awake since about 5am, had walked or driven around what seems like half of L.A., eaten way too much sushi, watched some shows and were starting to wind down.
Before we went home, though, Steve wanted to stop by a place called “Canter’s”. It’s a little deli, not too far away from Hollywood Blvd. It’s off Sunset Blvd. and apparently it’s a Hollywood institution. From the outside, the place looks like a quaint 50′s style diner. Inside, it looks pretty much like a quaint 50′s style diner. We had some late night snacks/dinner, checked out the cool atmosphere and then all piled into the rental car for the drive home.
By the end of the first day, we were all exhausted and ready to turn in. It had been a long day and in less than 24 hours we knew we’d be performing in front of L.A. improvisers and performers as well as old friends. We wanted to do well, but oddly, throughout the entire day, there was very little discussion about the show or what we would do or anything about the upcoming performance. I wasn’t nervous about it though. I can’t speak for everyone else, but I don’t think they were either. We all wanted to do really well, we wanted to kick butt, but we weren’t thinking about the show, which I think is a good thing.
L.A. was enough to keep our minds off of the show when it comes down to it. In contrast to Denver, L.A. is basically a city of wannabe actors, about one-billion billboards and over 600 Denny’s restaurants and Del Tacos. Honestly, every street was lined with billboards selling everything from plastic surgery to clothing. But mostly, the billboards hawked the latest Hollywood Blockbuster. Just about every third billboard featured the A-Team. The other thing about L.A. is that it seems that the entire city is just one big series of highways…errrr…freeways. They call them “Freeways” out there. I don’t know why, they just do. Their carpool lane is basically just an extra lane separated by two yellow lines, which means anyone can just come and go in them whenever they want. PLUS, and this really got to me, motorcycles are allowed to drive between cars in traffic.
That really annoyed me at first, especially when a motorcyclist cut us off on the way to the Sushi Cruise. Then I found out it was legal and I let it go. Still, it bothered me, don’t know why, it just did. There are about six or seven or ten “Freeways” that criss-cross L.A. The 110, the 405, the Ventura Highway, the San Diego Freeway, The Santa Monica Freeway, etc. They go up, they go down, they curve and wind and go all over the place with interchanges and exchanges and bridges. And then, some of them just end. Like the Santa Monica Freeway. It just runs out at the beach. I think the hardest part, for me anyway, wasn’t that there were so many freeways, I could adjust eventually. But I could just never figure out directions. I couldn’t see the ocean, and there were little ranges of mountains all around. I never knew if we were heading South, or North, or West. Again, in time, I’d figure it out I think. But for three days, I was basically desperately hoping for a compass.
The traffic wasn’t nearly as bad as everyone said it would be, at least not during two of our three days in L.A. We zoomed around pretty easily, speeding and tailgating the entire time. Apparently everyone tailgates in L.A. It makes me nervous. It wouldn’t be so bad, but it doesn’t seem like anyone looks ahead as they drive. I could see that five cars ahead they were slamming on their brakes, but apparently no one else could see that. They just keep whizzing along at high speed until they have to slam on their brakes. But they make up for it by following REALLY close behind the car in front of them, so, you know, it’s all good.
Now I understand why every day, and I mean EVERY DAY we were there, one of the freeways was closed or delayed due to a major pileup or a gas tanker overturning and exploding. Frankly, I’m surprised more people don’t die on those “Freeways”. The other thing that got me was the number of Jack in the Boxes they have out there. We haven’t really had JIOB here in Denver for a while. Sure, there are a few, but not many, not nearly like there are out there. Seriously, the only thing I saw more than JOIB’s were Denny’s and movie billboards. The cool thing about the Denny’s is that they don’t all look the same. They all look different in various buildings, as if they just moved into a space that was vacated by a previous failed restaurant. I have come to the conclusion that Denny’s is like the vulture of restaurants.
One final observation; L.A. has purple trees. I always wondered why the Lakers were purple. I figured it had to do with their old Minneapolis days, but there are purple trees all over L.A. We didn’t know what they were so I looked it up on my iPhone, which came in very handy out there. They’re called Jacarandas trees. Google it and you’ll see what they look like. They’re pretty cool, actually.
Finally, the weather was nice. Apparently, it’s “June Gloom” in L.A. right now, which was just fine with me. The mornings started off overcast and about noon, either the sun came out, or the clouds remained. It was humid, but not hot, and we caught a breeze for most of our stay. It even got cold enough on Tuesday night that Mere had to go find a jacket to buy. She brought a coat, but didn’t want to bring it when we went out the first night. But it got pretty chilly, so she, Michelle, Natasha and Steve went on a quest to find a jacket or a hoodie she could buy cheap on Hollywood Blvd.
Just a note, Hollywood Blvd. isn’t a place to just go buying things you need. Mostly, it’s for buying crap you DON’T need, like little Oscar statuettes (Natasha got one of those for her boyfriend, Mark, who couldn’t make the trip to play with us, sadly). It’s not like there’s a Walgreen’s around the corner, although we DID find out just before we left that there WAS a Trader Joe’s. Mere said she found a hoodie, with no writing on the front pretty cheap at a store a few blocks away from the theater. She said she didn’t want one of those souvenier shirts that said Hollywood, and I wasn’t sure she’d find one, but she did. She’s crafty like that.
Day two saw us all shower and get our things together as I watched the local news. I like watching the local news when I’m in L.A. because it doesn’t feel like real news. It feels like everything else out there, kind of fake and show-businessy. L.A. news is like the waiter that really wants to be an actor. It’s like watching news that really wants to be Oprah, but, with, you know, helicopter chases, celebrity gossip and car crashes mixed in.
Our first goal on Wednesday was to head out to Santa Monica. Natasha wanted to ride a ride on the pier, I wanted to dip my feet in the ocean and Steve and Mere both like Santa Monica. We managed to get to Santa Monica pretty quickly. I was using my iPhone to navigate us onto the Pacific Coast Highway, I did that a lot, just so I knew where we were. Once we got onto the PCH, we ended up driving away from the pier. No problem, right? Wrong.
Steve, who was our driver on the trip tried pulling a U-Turn, one of his specialties, but there was nowhere to make one. He then tried to turn into the Pacific Palisades parking lot, but there was no entry. Finally about a half mile down, we found a parking lot we COULD turn around in. A car directly in front of us had the exact same idea. It should have been simple, but instead of just pulling into the parking lot like a normal person, he just pulled into the entrance way. Well, we were right behind him. When he stopped, we stopped. The problem is, we were directly in the middle of the road. As I looked out my passenger window, I saw a big semi bearing down right on us. For some reason I started waving, as if that was going to help. Everyone in the car was yelling at the idiot in front of us, who seemed completely oblivious to our predicament (no surprise in L.A. where no one pays attention to anyone else on the road). My life passed before my eyes for a second. Fortunately, the truck stopped before it hit us, as did the cars behind it. We managed to get turned around, but not before almost causing a major pileup on the PCH.
After that little adrenaline rush, we parked and made our way onto the pier, taking pictures the entire time. Natasha wanted to ride a particular ride, but first, we grabbed a quick bite at a pier diner, where everything was way too expensive. I did learn that the legendary Route 66 ends at the pier and we all got our picture taken in front of the sign that notes its end. That was pretty cool. Then we made our way to the ride. Along the way, however, one of the thousands of birds that occupy the pier dive-bombed Steve and landed a direct hit on the crown of his head. I’d never seen a person get pooped on by a bird in flight, but there it was. A perfect shot. Steve immediately knew, while I was all like, “no way!” But it happened. And it was funny. Mostly because it wasn’t me. I tried not to laugh, but it was hard not to. A handful of napkins later (and a picture to prove what happened) it was wiped off, but the humor lasted for hours.
Sadly, Natasha’s ride was closed for repairs, so we made our way back to the car. We had to get down to Hollywood for our show and Mere was meeting a friend. As we made our way back, however, I kicked off my shoes and wandered in the sand. It was deep and warm and felt good to walk on, although I now know why it’s so hard to run on the beach, no traction. While the girls walked back to the car to check on our parking, Steve and I went down to the ocean where I rolled up my shorts, and walked into the surf. The waves were strong and the water was cold, but I wasn’t deterred. As Steve snapped a photo, a large wave came up and hit me in the butt and I was soaked. It would have been worse had a nearby woman gathering seaweed not yelled and warned me that a big wave was heading my way.
Wet pants and all, I climbed back into the rental car and we made our way to Hollywood where I would charge up my phone, we’d eat a quick lunch and then, it would be time to prepare for our show. The show and our final day and all the craziness that revolved around that will come in the next entry.
Stay tuned!
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